From: "Mikel K. Smith"
Date: Mon, 6 May 1996 15:31:24 -0500
Subject: The cat in the hat
source unknown...
But the grinch
who lived just north of scooterville
did not!!
And so every August for 55 years,
Amid a great thunder and crunching of
gears,
The tramps rode the black hills,
those pagans and trolls!
Like salmon returning again to their shoals.
And the grinch would turn bitter as coffee turned cold........
And could not
be approached
and would not be consoled....
The grinch hated Sturgis! The whole Sturgis deal!
And if you ask why that's the way he would feel,
Well, It could be his attitude wasn't just right,
Or could it be his truss bound his buttocks too tight!
But I find that the likeliest reason of all,
May have been that his
ball were two sizes too small!
But whatever the reason - his truss or his balls.
The grinch hated Sturgis,
hated it all.......
Just flat hated those tramps with their swagger and airs,
and hard miles of pavement that showed in their stares.
Of storms in the mountains and wind on the plains,
Or wrenching on roadsides
in pouring down rains.
He hated those chicks with ther pectorals bare,
and their t-back bikini's
and tattoos like Cher!
He's seen all their pictures at home in his chair,
He's read Easyriders and wanted his share!!
Yes,
the very word "Sturgis" would send Grinch on a tear,
But what irked him the worst was he couldn't be there!!
The grinch cried to the sky,
"Am I really to blame?"
Can I help being
freightened by rides in the rain?
And he moaned and he whined,
"Must I shoulder the shame"
And he grumbled and scoured his cowardly brain,
Until inspired,
at last to him it came.....
I COULD TRAILER THE BIKE,
WHY,
IT'S ALMOST THE SAME!!
and thusly encouraged,
he returned to his town,
and called to the trailer
trash,
gather ye round!!!
For I've had Epiphany! Brothers take note,
You can trailer a bike like you
trailer a boat!!!
We'll park out on the outskits,
offload the machines
and pretend that we rode from,
say,
New Orleans!!!
So the trash loaded trailers and cried what a hoot,
we'll dress up like
bikers with leather and boots......
Festoon then with conchos and feathers and such!
So what do you think,
Is an
eye patch too much?
And they dialed up the A/C,
and punched in the cruise,
Voila!
Now to p- without the abuse -
The abuse that 2 wheels are rumored to give.....
NO!
We live to trailer and trailer to live!!
The trash swarmed to Black Hills,
their purpose well focused
to drown the small town like a plague of cage locusts!!
To balloon the run's turn out to three hundred grand!
Till the few real bikers had nowhere to stand.....
And the grinch grinned and giggled to see what he'd done-
Now Interstate 90 looked like 101!!!
Now those tramps out of Scooterville were not so dim witted,
they saw who was
there and they saw who there fitted!!
So one said to the grinch,
"Who are you fooling jack?
Your jeans reek of Downy,
your scoot's too imac!!
You're spoiling our party with trailer posers!
What's the name of your
outfit?
Satan's cheauffers?
But the grinch grumbled back,
Now It's OUR party too!
We invited ourselves just like you did too!
Just show me the sign that says only some bum,
who rides motorcycles is
welcome to come,
and we'll load up our trailers and start our RV,
and head for
Laconia,
or Daytona Beach!!
Now the tramp out of Scooterville was shaken aback
No such sign existed- had ever,
in fact,
Such things were unspoken- all part of the lore-
No such sign had been needed before!!!
The tramps had to concede and withdraw from the field....
The Grinch and his ilk were unwilling to yield,
And flooded down main street
of Sturgis by night...
And by day lined the highways in lines out of sight..
The tramps knew the end of their era was nigh,
and a breeze
blew among them,
A general sigh- The tramp's spirits were trampled,
and a
mist filled their eyes.
Till suddenly some yelled
"Wait,
here comes Clive" -
And the cycle lord moced thru the bikers downcast,
and boomed "Cheer up
brothers,
we've not seen the last,
Of our noble degenerate lifestyle pass!"
Then Malcolm Clive popped a cold can of beer,
he stared at the Grinch with a
leer and a sneer,
He shook his head slowly and hacked his throat clear!!
Then preached brother Malcolm that's not why we're here!
It's not for pin or the patch or gear!
It's not for for babes with tits out to here - Okay,
maybe the babes,
ahem,
and the beer.
See the Sturgis we love doesn't happen in town!
Isn't drag pipes and paint jobs,
Or pulling tops down!
The Sturgis we love
is always around.....
It's the sunset you saw from a bike broken down,
It's
the story you tell of the hail in Cheyenne,
the dust storm in Julesburg,
the chill in
Montan.
The town serves as merely a place we all go.
To tell stories to people who
know ......
to tell those road tales of deluge and drought.
To crazies who know what
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!
And yes there are trailers,
and more every year,
and guys who just ride
under skies crystal clear,
and pull into town in a jeep wagoneer......
And the sign may say "STURGIS"
BUT THEY'VE NEVER BEEN THERE!!!!